10 HILARIOUS MISTAKES SINGLETONS MAKE ON VALENTINE’S DAY

Happy Valentine’s Day or as most of us like to call it,‘Single Awareness Day’. I am not going to discuss here the merits or demerits of this day, after all most of us have been on and off in relationships to know better. Days before the V-day, all your eyes can capture are the damned images of exquisite flowers, adorable teddy bears, mouth watery chocolates and aromatic candles. Those googly eyed cupids wearing diapers, they come at you with a weapon and all you want to do is puke out loud. It would be illegal for a singleton to do that especially on Valentine’s Day. So, here is a list of sweet crazy mistakes that single people like me should not make on this Valentine’s Day.

1. WEAR BLACK TO PROMOTE ANTI-VALENTINE’S DAY

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Look I am not saying to ban black for a day. But wearing it intentionally is not a winner’s game.  You might raise a question that ‘black is a sassy colour and it looks phenomenal on me, why should I not flaunt it?’ Answer is ‘save it for another day when you actually have a date to impress, dude’. We are not Bajrang Dal’s members holding Anti-Valentine’s Day banners and beating-up young couples who are hiding in the woods.

2. SHOWER STRIKE

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I always wonder the science behind not taking a bath.  Looks like it, comes more naturally to men than women. Seriously! Why do you do this to yourself and people around you? You don’t have a date, which does not mean you sit around in your boxers, with one hand in pizza and another too busy to play Candy Crush. Get up! Go for a makeover, love yourself even pamper a bit. Take relief in this thought that at least your efforts aren’t wasted on someone who might dump you the next day.

3. SOCIAL MEDIA STALKER

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Salute to those people who spend their entire day liking or reacting to other people’s day of love on social media sites. No one actually cares if you don’t oblige their posts instantly. Instead, it might bug some of your couple friends when they notice your offline status that day. Sharing other people’s happiness is great but not at the cost of being despicable yourself.

4. TAUNTING THE LOVE BIRDS

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Of course you have a great sarcastic humour, but that does not mean you have the right to be bitter. It makes you look immature and people around you uncomfortable. Yes! Couples are getting out there and having fun. Hence stop rolling your eyes on them and reminding them how stupid Hallmark holiday is. Stop making yourself socially awkward by complaining about your single status.

5. MAKING VODKA YOUR VALENTINE

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To be very honest, when it comes to unannounced alcohol parties, I am GAME! Valentine’s Day is an unofficial drinking holiday for singletons.  Because our only obligations are to eat enough dip and not to ripe off each other’s clothes. We start by celebrating our hard-core independence but eventually end up texting our exes and later quietly sobbing ourselves to sleep.

6.  BUZZING YOUR LONG LOST LOVE

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Yes I know! You are lonely even a little depressed, but that doesn’t give you a damn right to be pathetic. Texting your ex or calling her won’t give you any physical harm, but sure will turn your self-esteem to ashes after this love day is over. Leave the random “Hi!” for some other day, when you are not secretly wishing to rekindle the magic of your old relationship.

7. SECRETLY SELF-LOATHING

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This one’s is especially dedicated to the female gender, as they have a constant habit of secretly self-loathing.  Even though this feeling is constantly in wave like motion throughout the year, but it’s at its peak on Valentine’s Day. Having body image issues, counting failed relationships, feeling inadequate are some of the bizarre feelings that overwhelms us. Us Ladies need to realise that, if you are single, focus on being better you instead of searching for someone who could outmatch your ex. Because a better you will attract a better next.

8. WALK-IN LOVEY DOVEY RESTAURANTS

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Actually on Valentine’s Day, most of the restaurants are over-crowded and high priced. Even the love couples are getting expensive deals, so why to put yourself through such tormenting situations. Hit the nearest games hub or adventure rides with your cool gang of singletons. The main motive is to avoid such lovey sick places that dine on your agony.

9. TAKING OFF FROM WORK TO BE SLEEPY HOLLOW

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Men intensely love their sleep more than the idea of actual romance.  Actually it’s a very cheap trick, as they take a holiday giving an impression of going out on a date, which might increase their social status among office group. But boys, nothing is a bigger turn off than a guy snoring in bed.

10. TAKING FIRST DATE LEADS ON V-DAY

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It seems just perfect to rush into a date on 14th February, with that sweet guy you just laid eyes on. But trust me; it’s a recipe for disaster. First dates are loaded with apprehensions; avoid topping it with the pressure of V-Day’s forced romance.

I would like to conclude by quoting great Aristotle-
“Love is a single soul inhibiting two bodies”. Hence being a couple is a myth.

Penned By: 
Ashi Singh

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